Out in left field

[ music | Radiohead – Sulk ]

Yep. Another whine post. This is basically why I hate having certain conversations with certain people, because it makes me think about things I try to ignore. I was asked, “Do you think you’re a little too caustic sometimes?” I answered, “Yeah, probably.” The reply was, “No, seriously.” “Yeah, seriously. I’m sure I am too caustic at times.” The follow up question, “Why do you think that is?” “Because I’m frustrated with my life to a degree I never knew possible. I know that this is my last chance to start getting back on the right track, or I’ll wind up out in left field forever. I’m 27, and if I don’t get this working now, I’ll be 45 and stuck in the same damned rut. I don’t want to wind up like that. I don’t think I could take that.”

And that’s what it boils down to. With everything that’s been thrown at me, not a lot still strikes fear into me. The idea that I’ll wind up missing that last exit, that still scares the hell out of me. And I just can’t seem to figure out quite how to make it happen.

Time to get a little sleep…

1 Comment

  1. Susana had this to say,

    August 22, 2005 @ 1:19 pm

    It’s not a last chance, there is no time limit to get back to the right track. If it doesn’t happen in 2 months it doesn’t mean it never will… Or otherwise we all are screwed…