[ music | OMC – How Bizarre ]

Well I guess I can talk about it now. The papers are signed and the plane tickets are bought. I’ve been hired by Mozilla Corp! Since everyone knows that MoCo has been in freefall since the release of FF2, with a precipitous drop in revenue, I’ve been brought in to revitalize the company. The first step is to bring direction back to development. To further that goal, we’re dropping Gecko and moving to WebKit. WebKit is obviously more stable and well developed, and has much more room for growth than Gecko. Gecko is stagnant and has reached the limit of its expandability. This has been a well kept secret, and everyone’s been denying it for several years. WebKit is lighter and faster, and Gecko is just getting too bogged down with too much code only bz understands.

Second on the agenda will be to move WebKit development onto Vista. Vista is obviously the future, with people upgrading by the dozens every week. This will also allow us to leverage Vista’s enhanced Digital Rights Management features for the third prong of my new Mozilla Corp plan, SecureWeb.

SecureWeb is an entirely new way of browsing the web, and delivering content in a completely secure manner. SecureWeb puts content owners and developers where they should be, in control of the user. With total control over the browser experience, things like browser incompatibilities are a thing of the past because you can’t browse SecureWeb without Firefox 3 Secure Edition, and that only runs on Vista. And since content developers are in total control, there’s no worry about security breaches because only Licensed Content Providers are allowed to develop for SecureWeb. Content Providers will be approved by the LCP Board, which is comprised of Mozilla, Microsoft (our Fully Qualified Partner), Google (another Fully Qualified Partner, and SecureWeb cofounder), the MPAA, the RIAA, and SCO.

I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who made this possible, and it’ll be an interesting ride!