Archive for May 29, 2005

DHS, ICE protect citizens from… pirated Star Wars?

At a time when terrorists are blowing up bombs all over the planet, and the US is being invaded by millions of illegal immigrants, the Department of Homeland Security and Immigrations and Customs Enforcement is on the job protecting us from… pirated copies of Star Wars workprints. Yes, when our borders are more porous than cheesecloth, when terrorists are trying to hijack planes and kill thousands of Americans at a time, DHS and ICE are there keeping a few kids from seeing bad copies of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. What’s that? You think I must be joking? I’m afraid not. This is the original DHS press release in PDF format. This apparently an ongoing policy at ICE. Rather than protecting our borders and enforcing immigration law, they’re busy being the movie police. Osama Bin Laden was the best thing to ever happen to George Bush. Bin Laden has given Bush a blank check from the idiotic American public to destroy the country. If a magic genie popped up and gave me the choice between preventing 9/11 or preventing Bush’s election in 2001, right now I’d go back and undo Bush’s election. He’s FAR more dangerous to the US than any terrorist.

Update: It seems there’s ambiguity in my post there. Let me amend it. “But you think Bush actually cares about Star Wars workprints?” No, I think Bush cares about protecting big busness more than the people. He wants to replace the Constitution with an End User License Agreement. You will purchase your rights from USGov Corp for a limited period of time, subject to approval by DHS and your local Identification Verification Center. If you are found in violation of your license, you’ll be sent to a Repatriation Center for whatever training is deemed necessary by the Board of Patriotism Regulation.

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