Archive for April 17, 2009

Reflections so far

I’m in a hotel room in Pittsburgh, waiting to go north for the funeral. Waiting on anything gives one time to think. One thing all of this ordeal over the past few years has taught me is that I’m not as much of a lone wolf as I used to be. I have found that I actually enjoy the whole “family” thing much more than I ever thought I would. I always knew I wanted to eventually get married, and have kids, etc. But I never thought I’d enjoy the thought of helping and caring for people as much as I do now.  As a friend said to me, “you’re discovering your true self.”  It’s as though I went to sleep one night and someone switched me with someone else while I wasn’t looking. It’s odd to discover big things like that about yourself beyond your teens. I don’t just want to do big things, I want to have a positive effect on the world around me. I’m not satisfied just succeeding, I want to die knowing I changed someone’s life as positively as my mother changed mine. I hope I manage it.

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