In my never ending quest for misery and self-torture, I went over to eHarmony.com after seeing one of their ads on TV for the fifteen-billionth time. I went through their 29 dimentions of compatibility matching profiler, and it came back with “Unable to Match You at This Time”. Yep, their extensive psychological profiling was unable to figure out what kind of girl I might like.
“Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched.”
I could have given them some clues if they allowed a little more input besides religion, smoking, and drinking (like, say, HEIGHT! I like TALL women, damnit!). But no, they instead tell me I’m an enigma that science is unable to understand. Thanks! Anyone want to point me to the nearest bridge?
Click the thumbnail for a screenshot…
That sux! But I’m glad you shared. Having seen their commercials myself, I wondered how good they really were. Sounds like maybe NOT SO GOOD!
Good luck, btw, in your search for a tall woman. Just because eharmony can’t match you, doesn’t mean there’s not a match out there for you.
Consider yourself lucky. When eHarmony "matches" you, it’s not really any better than the free services. I couldn’t even tell it not to match me with guys who type in all caps, or confuse "you’re" and "your" for example. 😛
don’t worry, the system is not perfect. Enough said.
They couldn’t match me, either, made me feel so good inside.
for many years close lady friends have told me i’m just one of those guys that just go from girl to girl and will either never get married or go through many divorces. Now eharmony says they can’t match me. were my friends right? 🙁
Same here. This is the question I sent to their customer help:
I was refused service by e-harmony due to my profile not being matchable. I find that hard to believe. It told me 20% of users are denied service. Perhaps I could have been matched with someone else in that 20%. Please explain how precise the system is and whether the service can at all be used by someone who has not fit the mold. In otherwords, is there any way for me to pay my money and use eharmony.
Same here. This is the question I sent to their customer help:
I was refused service by e-harmony due to my profile not being matchable. I find that hard to believe. It told me 20% of users are denied service. Perhaps I could have been matched with someone else in that 20%. Please explain how precise the system is and whether the service can at all be used by someone who has not fit the mold. In otherwords, is there any way for me to pay my money and use eharmony.
Don’t worry about them not being able to match you. I tried the survey just for giggles and it said the same thing. I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years, and I have had many happy relationships in my life! So it really does mean absolutely nothing about your "datablity."
Hey! I got the same dang thing! Guess for a tall woman, I’m just not matchable! Oh well…match.com works pretty good except it made me pay $30 to join in order to be able to send email. Well if that will help me find a good man, then so be it. Still tall and looking in Houston.
I got the same message from eharmony "…we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched…" Gosh, that kind of hurts. The computer does not even like me. How could I not fit one of the personality profiles?
I don’t want to pay the money after ready so many reviews about paying/non-paying members. I would be pretty ticked off if I paid and none of my matches did, therby, I couldn’t communicate with them. I think you should be able to see who pays and who doesn’t before you pay.
Check out OK Cupid! It is a free dating site that has a lot of interesting questions to answer to better match you and it is FREE to email other members.
Wow, so this is where that 20% hangs out? hehehe
I was really feeling bad about myself then thought to search google for others that were told they were just too pathetic to be helped. 😛
I had never tried this type of service before and so I was pretty worried!
Whew!
~Sam
Yeah, I got that too. Was annoyed. Chose to see it as a sign that I’m not easily stereotyped into their little "profiles." You can’t profile me, I’m so fucking unique.
I am glad to see that they are denying interesting people. I guess my ambition (I am starting a company… it isn’t easy, so I am "competitive" – which it repeated 50,000 times… I really am not) really made me incompatible with women. Which is hilarious considering I have no problem meeting, dating and having relationships with them. eHarmony is a joke. It is truly for the boring looking for match they can’t find at Blockbuster.
I got that message too. How depressing. Why not just hook me up with guys that fall in that 20%? Even though eharmony was unable to match me the personlity profile described me perfectly.
I meant personality.
yeah, it took me 30mins to take the eharmony test and then told me i was not what they were looking for. maybe i can hook up with someone in here who got rejected to. Lets compare personality profiles.
I am so glad I decided to check out eharmony and found your site. Even thoug it is funny I feel for you. I live in a small town and found out that the men in this town have composed a list of available women in our town. They are bankers and Lawers ect. that compose this list. A male friend of mine who is getting a divorce informed me he saw it and I was on it. All though he thought it was funny I am to scared to try to date in this town now and I think I give up on online dating now.
They were unable to fit me into one of their neat little boxes. I wasn’t concerned until I talked to a friend who informed me that two of our mutual friends had the same trouble (the concerning part is that one is truly insane and locked up and the other is bi-polar)
I too, got the ominous "No Match For You!" message after taking their personality test. I thought nothing on it and tried back a couple of different times, with the same result. I can’t believe that from their entire database, that a compatable match could not be found based on personality alone. If that’s the case, tell me exactly why I’m not a suitable match. At least that would be honest. And just as an afternote, if you have been denied a match, there is no way of going back to edit any of your information to show changes that may have occured in your personality.
Well, it happened to me too, "Unable to match you at this time." I was really disappointed because I was really looking forward to it, and eharmony seemed to have a well thought-out system. It is a rude awakening after spending so much time on the questionnaire. I might feel better about it if I was warned at the start. (Though I can see how that might backfire on them.) I just saw an article that suggested people with depression symptoms (curiously low energy) may be filtered out — I have some of that, and maybe that’s what did it. Thank you to all you who have shared on this, because it helps tremendously not to feel alone. I say let’s not give up, but let’s figure out ways to date, form relationships, and meet our mates!
The only thing that truely matters to me in this life is to find my soul mate and spend it with this soul. Then I visit a site that boasts it’s soul mate matchmaking capabilities. I took this personality profile test years ago and was the 20% incompatible. I created a new profile and took the test again this year, thinking that maybe I changed enough to be compatible, but no such luck. I am losing hope in my dream for a life of emotional bliss. And settling for a guy who treats me right, but cannot understand nor appreciate why I am who I am, doesn’t satisfy my hunger. I guess there’s no easy way to find my soul mate. Maybe my soulmate is as real as the idea of God. A nice comforting thought, never to materialize.
I’m glad I’m not the only one. My fiance just ended a 9 year relationship. I felt humiliated enough just filling out the stupid thing and then when it couldn’t find any matches I almost felt like crying. I supsect it was because I answered that I was overweight.
I just read the comment about the depression thing. Ha! That’s what I get for answering honestly. I just got out of a relationship. Of course I’m depressed. What a crock.
Well it’s a free service, so I’m not suprised.
What a relief!! I am so glad I found this. I was about ready to get a cat and die alone. That was really mean to deny us like that. I have the worst luck with men, so I thought this personality matching system would show me who to look for, apparently I don’t match with anyone! We should do something about Eharmony.
Also got the "no match" response. Just did a little more research on my own and found entire blogs devoted to people disastified with eharmony because they refuse to let them cancel their accounts, continue to bill credit cards without permission, and not respond to emails or inquiries about billing – not just a few complaints, many many many. So, perhaps we are blessed afterall? I’ll stick to snuggling with cats for now!
aww, im sorry yall didnt find any matches on e.harmony, but look at it this way; it just means you are unique,and your unique match is not on a website somewhere, they are out there in the real world. NEVER give up hope. 🙂
Be happy they told you you were unmatchable! I wasted five months and a lot of money, getting no response from woman after woman (which was a constant blow to the old self-esteem)and then getting "matched" with women who were not remotely compatible with me. I began to complain, and became suspicious that my matches weren’t members, and after a couple of weeks—they terminated my account with no explanation! WHAT a SCAM!
Haha, at this rate, we should all start our own Dating service, "the heathen 20%".
I’m yet another member of the 20% club. The ‘Unable to match you at this time’ message popped up and I thought, that’s great; one in five people can’t get a date in real life, and of of those, one in five can’t even get a date on the internet. I’m in the least desirable 4% of the population. Reading these posts cheered me up, though. 🙂
lol me too one of the five….but they let enough nigerian 419 scammers in….
If you are single and rich and have a great future then you are matched otherwise forget it the truthful one was denied and the fake one , who was rich and perfect was matched go figure
Well count me in as well for the "unfit to be matched with anyone" club. I just spent all that time on their lengthy profiling survey only to about fall out of my chair when I was told their services couldn’t be of benefit to me…
I realize I’m a unique individual but should I feel as if I’m an absolute freak now? Apparently
I just received an email from eHarmony stating that "Pursuant to the rights within the terms and conditions of the service agreement with eHarmony.com, your membership has been terminated." Funny thing is, a couple of weeks ago I commented on how poorly their photo access had been recently, using their "How are we doing" link that is on every page. So I search the net and find this is pretty common, you make a complaint using their feedback system and you get terminated. What a crock.
Enjoyed the comments here, thanks fellow freaks! The funny thing is I had a previous girlfriend fill it out for me… her idea, it was a long distance thing that couldn’t have worked… anyways after the rejection message I couldn’t even go back & look at what she filled in but she knows me very well. The personality profile was indeed a pretty good match. And yes I’m atheist (though spiritual) and a bit depressed. I couldn’t bear to go through 2 hours of multiple choice questions, yes I am that ambiguous and hard to define. I agree there should be a web site for eHarmony misfits.
Well, dont feel bad, im right there with all of you…but im actually happy that i dont fit in. I pride myself in being unique and im sure i will find someone that is right for me eventually. If not, there is always television to keep me company. lol.
Couldn’t match me either.
I am wondering how many of you who replied also replied to the Tickle IQ test result "Visionary philosopher" comment section on another site.
My guess is Visionary Philosophers aren’t matchable because we do not belong to this planet!
Wow, that sucked. Add me to the barrel of bad apples…
A year after my horrible breakup, and I finally had the guts to try eHarmony. It was my first (and only) online dating attempt, and it took me hours (actually, it spanned days) to complete the survey–I wanted it to be just right. I finally got to the last page…click…"we refuse to match a loser like you." Eh heh.
And to think the main passion about which I wrote was simply having a family of my own. Sigh. Well, at least I’m not alone–it did make me feel better to read these posts. Good luck, everyone.
I’m glad I’m not alone. Eharmony has never had a match for me. What gives? Suzi
I wish I were a freak, I actually got matched . . . to a Nigerian scammer who wasn’t looking for love, but cash. You’re all better than any jerk I’ve ever met on eHarmony. Where do sign up to meet the "normal" people?!
eHarmony is pathetic. Their profiling is very limited and insulting as it applies to humans. The most ridiculous protocol of questioning they put you through is trivial and irrelevant to compatibility. Also, 98% of my matches were way outside the radius that I specified.
Hi there, I’ve never been to your site before. I just came across it because I was doing a search on eHarmony. (I was curious to know how many of their marraiges end up in divorce! ;-))
Anyhow, I got the same message and was upset at first. Then, a while later I tried again and suddenly I was matchable. I must have answered one question differently since, let’s face it, that questionnaire is a snapshot of how you feel about yourself at that moment.Obviously, it changes a little from time to time. So, now I have been a paying member for a few months and let me tell you…I wish I settled for the ‘unmatchable’ message…it would’ve saved me about $100. I find it to be a horrible site with not enough info and matches that are clearly not right for me…that is, when I get matches! You can’t search for yourself. You have to wait for the all-knowing system to find you matches. On average about 2 a week. It’s ridiculous. That’s just the tip of the iceburg…too many more complaints to list. Try http://www.plentyoffish.com… totally free and just as good.
If you don’t conform to the right wing evangelical ways that the founder of eharmony has, they’ll reject ya everytime no matter what. what they don’t tell ya in those ads are that they are strictly a christian service and if you answer in not such a christian way they wont match ya.
just like christianity (and all religions really) eharmony is just a crock of you know what, and if you don’t conform you are bad!!!
most pathetic website ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…wasted very good money!!!!!!!…going to go to the media with this!!!!!!!!
LOL @ Ada: “I couldn’t even tell it not to match me with guys who type in all caps, or confuse “you’re” and “your” for example.” This describes most of the guys I have “met” online. Hint: if this bothers you, avoid Plenty of Fish. Oh, and I had the same result from eHarmony- unable to match. Maybe I’m too messed up. Oh well, at least I didn’t waste any money.
I can’t believe how much this is bothering me. It’s like a kick in the gut. To have some love “scientist” basically validate my biggest fears.
Well looks like I’m the only one here with a success story on eHarmony.. All I can say is I would definitely promote their site. I found my soulmate after 2 months. He’s actually the 2nd person I even communicated with. We are a perfect match. Its crazy how many things we have in common. We are talking marriage. We will be married within a year. As far as their matches go, I had about 400 matches in 3 months time and about 70 people contacted me wanting to get to know me better. All the matches were exactly what I wanted in a person. I am a christian so that may be it with the reasons why some of you were not matched. I read a previous message from someone who claimed the founder is christian so if your not christian you won’t be matched… Hmmm, I’d like to know if you other 20 percent people out there are non christian. Well, I recommend their site. My mate is gorgeous and everything I’ve ever wanted in a mate!!! So thankful!!! Please don’t give up people, there’s someone for everyone.
I also got rejected.. damn it, I’m willing to convert if it will get me laid!