[ music | Beastie Boys – Sabotage ]

I didn’t want to say anything until the personal courrier came, and he’s just left. I have in my hands a signed contract and my initial pay. I am now working for Miscrosoft as the head of their Community Conversion department. I’m helping Bill implement his “Closing Open Source” project, starting with Mozilla! Over the next few months, I’ll be contacting every single code contributor to Mozilla informing them we would like to purchase the copyright to their code. If they choose not to sell, I’ll share some of the data gathered by our Internal Intelligence department and attempt to blackmail them. If that fails, we’ll simply sue them into nonexistence. Simultaneously, we’ll be suing MoFo directly for what looks to be a giant stack of patent violations as well! The pile of violated patents I have here is in the four and a half foot tall range, so I think we’ll be able to bleed MoFo dry just in legal fees.

I’d like to thank Bill for this opportunity to help destroy what so many wonderful people have helped create over the years. Once the Berlin Wall fell, I was afraid the days of wholesale evil were behind us, but it’s alive and well in Microsoft. And remember, it’s all just business! Take care!