[ music | Duran Duran – Too Much Information ]

Ok folks, to continue my effort to Reboot My Life, I’ve written up a review of web hosting companies I’ve used throughout the years. Dreamhost comes out on top, but there’s a solid second choice there too. Plus, all ad-revenue goes to my Reboot My Life fund, which is always appreciated. 🙂

[ music | Michael Buble – How Sweet It Is ]

I’m telling you people, you must buy this album, Michael Buble – It’s Time. This is guy is amazing. He’s got the same kick that Frank had, with a smooth soulful voice that melts into whatever style or emotion of song he’s singing. This guy’s going places.

[ music | Nelly Furtado – Powerless ]

So, today Chewie[] has started to discover a very important life lesson. It’s quite an experience to see people say or think things exactly as you did at that same age. Specifically, he said “I really didn’t like what she was becoming. I just wanted her to remain her own, beautiful self.” I laughed, but not in a derisive manner, but in a completely understanding one, and appreciating the naiveté of the statement. I can remember on a few occasions thinking the exact same thing. But the lesson he will learn is two-fold. Change is inescapable, you can not stop change any more than you can hold back the tide. And the second, and probably more important in this particular situation is you can only control yourself. You are powerless to change other people, and if you should try to change other people, it will NEVER EVER WORK. It always ends in disaster. I do not want to even attempt to count the times I have seen it nor do I wish to recount the few times I’ve tried it. It will blow up in your face every time. The best case scenario is discussing the situation with the other person, and bringing the problem to light. The caveat with that is if there is no actual problem, if you have a personal issue with what a person is becoming, especially as they grow up and find their own identity, there is nothing you can do, and nothing you should do except deal with it. It’s a hard fact of life to learn, some people never learn it. But it is an extremely valuable one which you will find useful through your entire life. With friends, lovers, spouses, children, and parents, you will find them no longer adhereing to your plans for them, but you need to remember that no one said your plan was best.

It’s still interesting to see someone wrestle with this, however. A wry irony. We’re all so smart, but we’re all still so dumb. Chewie[], you are a drop in the ocean, but the rest of us are also drops, and together we make up that ocean. As much as you may feel it at times, you are not alone in those feelings. 🙂

[ music | Cake – Nugget ]

I’m spending the day with relatives… The song summarizes my internal monologues for the day…

[ music | Tori Amos – Silent All These Years ]

Long ago, I used to write, a lot. Some of the best stuff (and a few of the not-so-best but fun) is over in The Museum, if you’ve never been. I wrote pen on paper. I have to use paper for some things, or it comes out flat. I saved every one of those papers (and a few more…) Well, I stopped writing a while later, when I buried my passions. During those long, cold years, when I was someone else I didn’t like, I don’t remember writing much of anything. Certainly nothing of value. I know I wrote many things I immediately discarded.

I began writing again recently, when I began singing again, when I let me out of my cage. I just went looking for some of those new things, and found a few things from those silent times, tiny sparks in the dark, only embers now, but enough to see that that fire was always there. I think I’ll put them in The Museum soon. But two I had to share now. They’re not my best, but they show a little promise… There’s hope for me yet. 😉

» Continue reading “Discoveries…”

[ music | The Postal Service – Nothing Better ]

Somehow, a mind blowingly cool band has completely escaped my attention. This band is The Postal Service Click To Buy. One of my best friends has smacked me in the head with a shovel, and on the end of this shovel is this band’s album “Give Up”. It’s core indie-rock infused with synthpop instrumentation, samples ripped straight from the old 8-bit Nintendo, moody atmospheres, “Pet Shop Boys” styled lyrics, and “They Might Be Giants” vocals. Really awesome stuff. I just can’t figure out how the hell I missed this. Don’t make the same mistake.

[ music | No Doubt – New ]

I have always disliked exactly how the archives bit here worked. But I finally got off my ass and did something about it. Now, if you look to the left under “Fermions” you’ll see a link titled “Earlier Posts”. These work as you expect, 12 posts at a time (I display 12 here on the main page because I like to be different). And, if you’re back a page or three, another link appears under the “Earlier”, entitled “Later Posts”. Just like a real blog! Wow! Shiny! Ditto at the bottom, same links, same deal. Do I really need to explain this in the year 2005? So, now my archives don’t suck.

[ music | Frank Sinatra – That’s Life ]

Well, I’m not gonna roll my self up and die… But I am gonna roll my self up. So, today I finally managed to talk to one of my best friends after far too long an interruption. And while I forgot a bunch of things I wanted to bring up, I did manage to mention my impending move plans. Well, ok, she reminded me, but that still counts! I was talking about how Pittsburgh is just a stepping stone for me, and that I’d rather move more eastward like Philly, Jersey, or ideally the NYC area. Then she mentioned why not Boston? There’s boatloads of tech jobs up there (Silicon Alley anyone?), and a much more vibrant performing arts community than in Pittsburgh. I’d vaguely thought of it before, as I’ve been sending my resume out to recruiters, and one was talking about throwing me in the hat for a job with a Boston-based company.

Later when I was hanging out in IRC (something I do too much of I suppose), another friend (MightyMu) said a couple things that started to make it all soak in. “Boston’s a better town for that than pgh, anyway”, which is rather obvious, but I continue. “The problem with Pittsburgh is – where do you go? Closest states are Ohio and West Virginia, no other major cities nearby, you’re out there all by yourself.” This is something I have always known, it’s somewhat inescapable if you have ever looked at a map. But hearing it from someone else (especially someone else in PA), it just gave it an entirely different poignancy. I have always an an affinity to the Northeast. Being born in Pittsburgh was great, it’s a great town, but he was right. Pittsburgh is the last outpost of Easternism. Pittsburgh was the original “Gateway to the West” long before St. Louis held that title. And if I have always loved the East Coast, the Atlantic Ocean, and New York, why am I going to move to the most southern and western urban area in the Northeast?

I have one real friend left in the area, Alex. I’ve lost contact with everyone else, being away from the area for 7 years now, and can’t think of anyone who means enough to me to stay there. I can stay friends with Alex from anywhere, and he’s getting married in September, so we can’t exactly go cruising for chicks anyway. So what’s holding me there? Nothing. And now I have a fantastic friend in the heart of the Northeast, core-Blue-State America, a stone’s throw from the Big Apple, who can show me around and inject me with a new circle of friends, and someone I actually want to stay friends with. And the place is rotten with opportunities for me both technically (so I can pay the bloody rent) and artistically (for when I break out of the tech industry). This is the place where the original Americans were forged from the cold furnace of harsh winters and an untamed land. So really, what is there to decide?

So, there it is. I’m moving to Boston, instead. Reboot My Life will be changed soon to reflect this, too. I can’t believe after all these years I actually have a life plan that makes sense.

I’m also stealing jwz’s per-post music thing. Yes, I now succumb to more blog memes. I’m evil, what can I say.

Wow. Ok, I finally found my long lost CD of Heather Nova’s Oyster. I bought this album back in high school after hearing “Walk This World” once. A lot like how my Tori Amos fandom began. Well, I haven’t been able to listen to this album since 1999 when I misplaced it. I forgot how emotionally raw this album is. Dear god, it’s like this woman found some magic lantern and wished for a direct pipe to the brain via sound, and uses this pipe to send 50,000 volts (carrying at least 100 amperes) of pure, unfiltered, unavoidably narcotic emotion directly into your amygdala. Or maybe this is just tapping into what I put into it as a teenager. I always have been some deep running waters. Scares the hell out of me sometimes. Anyway, I’m sitting here as it flows from track to track, so high on some tracks I’m literally dizzy; so low on others that there is an elephant on my chest; so incredibly tortured on some that I want to scream out so this icy hand will stop squeezing my heart. I actually had to pause the album because my heart was racing and skipping beats.

I haven’t felt like this in years. It’s magnificent to feel so tortured again. I’ve been dead for far too long.

Someone relieved my car of it’s radio. The FACTORY STOCK RADIO. Why the hell would a person steal the default radio? Luckily the window wasn’t broken. I seem to have not rolled up the window entirely yesterday. Not like there’s decent radio around here anyway.