[ music | Tori Amos – Silent All These Years ]
Long ago, I used to write, a lot. Some of the best stuff (and a few of the not-so-best but fun) is over in The Museum, if you’ve never been. I wrote pen on paper. I have to use paper for some things, or it comes out flat. I saved every one of those papers (and a few more…) Well, I stopped writing a while later, when I buried my passions. During those long, cold years, when I was someone else I didn’t like, I don’t remember writing much of anything. Certainly nothing of value. I know I wrote many things I immediately discarded.
I began writing again recently, when I began singing again, when I let me out of my cage. I just went looking for some of those new things, and found a few things from those silent times, tiny sparks in the dark, only embers now, but enough to see that that fire was always there. I think I’ll put them in The Museum soon. But two I had to share now. They’re not my best, but they show a little promise… There’s hope for me yet. 😉
Back when we were stupid we'd scream around town in the crappy car we bought. We'd tear around in the dark, turn off the headlights, turn up the radio, and laugh our heads off. We'd drive absolutely everywhere and get nowhere. Back when we didn't know better, we'd hit a mall and act like idiots, sneak in the movies, throw popcorn at the screen, challenge little kids at the arcade. We'd stay out an hour too long, get in trouble, and do it again next week. We'd stop in the parking lot, and kiss each other's soul. Back when we were stupid, we'd have a blast. Back when we were stupid we'd live everyday to the edge. We'd run around on tilt, get goofy for no reason. Back when we were stupid. These days, we need to get stupid more often. Wanna go get stupid?
( December 2003 )
I love the night. When I was a young man, younger than I thought I was, I loved to be out in the night, alone or in a crowd, it didn't matter. But I loved to be out in the night. I loved to take a walk in the small hours. I'd walk alone, or just with a single friend. The cool, soft breezes of the night, The slight fog that would swirl about in the fall, It was quiet, but it felt more alive than anything else. I got older, but still younger than I thought. I loved the night even more. To walk in those same small hours with a girl, one who just glowed with life. We would walk, and the air between us crackled with the energy of a thousand years, invisible silent lightning. The night was magic. I still love the night, even though I'm older. I'm also still younger than I think, but I'm learning. I still go walking in the night, in the small hours. I'll walk alone through that swirling fog, but the memories walk with me now. The night is still alive. I'll walk until the earth yawns, and the sun starts to peek out over the blankets. I can look into that dark sky at night, and see so much more than I should. The more you learn, the easier you see how much really is possible. The night helps me see that. It takes the dark to help me see clearly.
( October 2003 )